keepingtrack

All of my failures remind of the movie “The Shawshank Redmption”. Red keeps going up for parole, repeatedly. Each time, he tries to be positive and tell the parole board what he plans to do.

Finally, he has had enough. He tells the people to make up their minds and stop wasting his time. When he doesn’t really care anymore, they granted him his parole.  I rather feel like Red, this time.

Today I look fate in the eye and tell it to do what it will. Stop wasting my time. I am going to try hard to have a good day, each day. If that is not enough, I am not going to worry about it.

This is not meant to be advice for others, as I am not qualified for that. It is just a way to transpose my thoughts.

Hello everyone,

It has been way too long. And I have been using the excuse of being extremely busy to stay away. That is not the case. I believe that subconsciously I wanted to no longer be accountable to anyone. I got my wish.

I lost myself in my work and stop paying attention to what I ate. Now I am at 277 pounds and officially hate myself.

I know that I have to be held accountable for my actions, or I will be lost. That is why I am back. But this time, one thing will be different. There will be no sage advice from me. That is because I am not qualified to advise anyone here about weight control.

My entire adult life has been a series of “control” and no control” I am not sure why. But I know that if left my own devices, I will screw up every time, without fail. That is something that I am certain of.

So I am here to seek some accountability and be a part of something that is very good. My only advice to anyone, will be about things that I know. I know that if you leave the group, you are destined for failure. I am living proof of that.

I have a few qualifications. I can tell you a little bit about raising kids. I managed to raise four, fairly well adjusted adults. I can tell you something about writing copy and web content. That is what I am currently doing. I have managed to exercise regularly for 8 years. I also know that (in itself) is not enough. I know some about auto mechanics and household and industrial electricity. I think that is about it.

I have no unreal expectations. I would like to lose 20lbs and keep it off. If that works, maybe twenty more. That is about it. I am going to try to be here more often and read blogs. I will sometimes respond with simple reminders and nothing major. Thanks everyone.

One other thing. Starting over again really sucks! But I have no one to blame but me. And I have no other choice but to start over. So I am here just hanging out and hope that something good rubs off.

Greeting to all my friends. I had a few days where I quit keeping track of calories. It did not take long to figure out that I do not want that lifestyle again. I had a good day today and was well under 2000.

I have to admit, if it were not for everyone here, I would have slipped back into my old ways. But I kept thinking that it is too important and I have made so many good friends there. This place has been a turning point in my life as far as losing weight and even more-so, feeling good about myself. What good is losing weight or doing anything for that matter, if we don’t feel good about ourselves in the process?

I can’t explain it, but there is some kind of energy, some type of power, right here where we are. I guess the good thing is that we do not have to understand things beyond our comprehension to take advantage of them. I know one thing for sure, when I come here and stay for just a little while…I feel it. And it feels good. And that is all that matters for now.

Things are a bit hectic here and there is not much free time at the present. But you know, sometimes an opportunity presents itself and you just have to go for it. Hopefully I will adjust and things will be back to semi-normal in a month or so.

In any manner, I send my love and best wishes to all of you. And I thank you all for all of your amazing support.

Greetings all. There is a lot going on in my life but I am still going to make time to check in here as much as possible. I need this support more than ever. Ya know those old feelings never die. They may go away for a while, but they always come back.

And the only thing I can do is face them, and not let them get the best of me. I was about 2300 calories for today. Not perfect, but not too bad. And I think I know what I want (as far as weight goals). I want to feel good about myself.

I may never be under 200 pounds, but I know that another 30 or so lost would make me very happy. So that is what I am going to concern myself with. No perfection, just feeling better and being realistic. And I know it may take a while, but that is OK, too.

There are so many good people here. This place is a sanctuary for me. Where else can you find, caring, loving people that only wish you the best? Just logging in here and blogging gives me a special feeling. And I know where it comes from. It comes from all of you.

Not long ago, I thought there was a terrible epidemic of selfishness in this world. But I have come to soften my views. If the people here are a cross-section of the civilized world, then it is in very good hands. And I would like to think that is the case.

Food log for 2/28/2010

oatmeal    266
roast beef sandwich 160
apple    120
baby carrots 78
baked potato 192
coffees    120
chicken thighs and potatoes 300
walked 32 minutes
grapes    140
roast beef sandwich    160
apple    110
chicken  280

total 1926 calories

 Greetings all,

I regret to inform you that I may not be able to publish my food log every day. I am undertaking some writing assignments and they could be rather time consuming. Sometimes it is quite difficult for me to concentrate on a lot of different things . However, I still intend to be a part of this website, as much as possible.

If you do not see me at times, know that I appreciate everyone here and want you all to know that you are making a big difference in my life.

food log for 2/26/2010

grill cheese    230
5.2 oz thompson grapes    58
coffees    120
Frontline to Chip
1/2 ham sandwich, radishes,parsely    205
6.6 oz apple slices    106
peanut buter cookies    380
chicken noodle soup homade    280
metoprolol
5.2 oz thompson grapes    69
bugles    300
chicken noodle soup homade    280

total 2028 calories

Someday I want to reach the point to where I have to give little concern to my eating habits. It will just be life goes on and I can concentrate on other matters, like why are they selling California oranges here in Florida, when I am surrounded by orange groves.

honey cinnamon toast 165

walked 33 minutes        

pbj sandwich                  310

coffees                            120

banana cake                   200

ham sandwich                 195

taco casserole                325

peanut butter cookies 450

dry toast                         160

ham sandwich                 230

total 2155 calories

Did you ever have one of those days? It was not a bad day per se, but just so hard to get anything accomplished. I had a good day, exercise and calorie-wise, but for some reason I feel like the little fella in the picture.

 I found him online the other day, but he was too small so I did my own. As you can see, I am not an arteest, but at least you can tell what is going on. And what is going on is how it feels now and again when you are trying so hard to get your weight under control, but it is hard to see progress.

 I know I am taking steps forward, it is just hard to tell at times, And this little fella reminds me of what it feels like occasionally. But I have to keep going and I know that before long that brick wall will be gone. It may show up again at a future date, but it will leave eventually for good (I hope).

food log for 2/24/2010

 chicken enchilada            275

oatmeal                           266

coffees                            120

ham cheese sandwich      275

ham cheese sub               325

marmalade toast              220

omelet                             325

 total 1806 calories

Warning: The following blog is only my opinion (for what that is worth). It has come about from 40 years of gaining and losing only to gain it back again scenarios. You can consider this sage advice that is brimming with truth and wisdom, or maybe the ramblings of an aging man that has nothing better to do. Either way, you may be right.

As I sit here writing these words I think about where I want to go and what I want to do as far as my personal well-being. I go to the desktop part of my computer. And I can right click on things and it will give me the option to “create a short cut”.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could do that with weight control? And beware…there are some out there that will tell you that they we can do just that. And it only costs xxx dollars.

As the obesity epidemic worsens we will see many many so called miracle cures. And some will claim to be a “one size fits all” cure for obesity. Unscrupulous people are bilking billions of dollars from good hard working, honest people…all because they want a short cut, or an
“easy way”.

If we stop looking for short cuts where they do not exist, we will stop being conned. And this goes for every other facet of our lives. We fall victims to scams because we want a short cut or something that is too good to be true. But remember there are perfectly sound reasons why things are too good to be true. Because they are (plain and simple).

As of today I know of only one (one size fits all) way to proper weight control and good health. You need to eat a balanced diet, drink plenty of water, get good rest, exercise and take in fewer calories than you burn off, in order to lose weight and keep it off.

That is the only way. And that is why I am done with anything that does not pertain to the only way. I need to spend the rest of my life focusing on the one true way to health and happiness and it will take all of my strength and abilities to succeed…that I am certain. But I will succeed.

Yes, it is hard work, and it is very difficult, and has a high failure rate. That is why you will see so many trying short cuts. But there are no short cuts my friends or all of us would be eternally thin and fit and would have no need for this website and you would not even know my name or if I existed. That is the truth and deep down inside we all know that and it is time to bring it to the surface, and keep it in front of us. That is, if we want permanent change.

And if you choose not to believe me that is OK. It is your time and your money. Spend them wisely, as the both go very very fast!

Food log for 2-23-2010

oatmeal cran garlic 266

Mrs Freshley’s banana pudding cake 200

coffees 120

Greg Mcmuffin 345

walked 32 minutes     

pbj sandwich 310

marmalade toast         200

ham cheese sandwich 270

4.5 oz baby carrots 55

chicken enchilladas 400

total 2166 calories

Some people (in their weight loss efforts) have been able to successfully eliminate certain food items and do just fine. And I applaud their efforts. However, I am at a point in my life to where I need little things that I can enjoy. So I have decided that I am not going to give up anything else, anymore. I know that I have to limit certain things, but I am not giving them up.

And I am not going to try anything else either…no more experimenting on myself. I have 40 years of that to look back on with very little success. My current plan is sound enough to see me through this.

I know, at my age, this could be my last chance to get it together, before suffering some type of obesity complications, so I have to give it my best shot. I am throwing in all the rest of my chips and making one final bet! And this is it. I am going to sink or swim with all you fine people here.

food log for 2-22-2010

swiss roll 200

ham sub cheese               370

regular 45 minutes exercises

walked 15 minutes

oatmeal 266

coffees                            120

zatarrains fresh parsley   375

cheese burger                  435

marmalade toast              170

4.375 oz apple slices      70

honey cinnamon toast      120

total  2126 calories